In ancient Middle Eastern cultures, it was not unusual for a man to take a second wife if his first wife could not provide an heir, but Sarai preferred a different option. A bond servant did not have the status of another wife, and so any child that Hagar had would come under Sarai’s control as the only wife of Abram. Sarai wanted to retain her status, but she also wanted to build a family (v2) so a second wife for Abram was out of the question.

The relationship dynamics in this triangle of Abram, Sarai and Hagar are fascinating, and some of the responses remind us of the conflict that arose between Adam and Eve when they fell into sin. Notice that Abram doesn’t put up much of a fight when Sarai makes her suggestion. Like Adam, he seems to fall in too easily with his wife’s plans, despite knowing what God has previously said to him.

As soon as Hagar becomes pregnant, Sarai becomes jealous and angry. And like Eve in the Garden of Eden, she looks around for someone to blame.

Suddenly, despite this being her idea, Sarai decides that it is Abram that is to blame, and Hagar who will suffer. Abram, unwilling to take decisive action to solve the problem himself, tells Sarai to deal with it all, ignoring his responsibilities as head of the family.

How complex things become when we take back control from the Lord. This plan of Sarai’s, which is really coming from selfish motives, causes pain and trouble to the whole family, and leads to conflict and sinful thoughts and attitudes. It was a disaster for everyone, and nobody was able or willing to sort out the mess that they made.

Yet God is faithful. He promised to bless Abram’s descendants, and he does give his blessing to Ishmael. When we take control back from God, we expose ourselves to all manner of disasters. May God teach us to be patient and faithful people, content to wait on his will.

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NEWBOLD COMMUNITY CHURCH